haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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