he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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