he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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