I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
