the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
