Whatcha textin bout Willis?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
