There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
