Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
