So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
