I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
