Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
