You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have post one night stand depression
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
