Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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