Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
