WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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