Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
