But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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