Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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