I'm drive I can fine osifer
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
