I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
