obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
