Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
