it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
