that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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