It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
