We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize
