There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
