i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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