At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
