DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
