I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Mom said you looked used
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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