Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
