as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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