Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
