Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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