so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
