I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
