I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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