You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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