this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
