Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
