the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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