Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
