There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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