so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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