I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
