you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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