She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
