Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have peed in a lot of sinks
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
