I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
