Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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